From the space between send and reply, this is Overthinking the Awesome with David Cosgrove. Welcome back. You're thinking too much. Good. So am I. Let's put that big brain of yours to work. Before we get started, want to give a quick thanks to this episode's sponsor, Westwood Provisions, handmade candles out of Simsbury, Connecticut. When I'm recording or writing, the right atmosphere matters. These folks get that. Connect with Westwood Provisions on Instagram and Facebook. Tell them the Overthinker sent you. So tell me if this sounds familiar. Someone compliments you. You look great today. And your brain instantly replies, Oh my god, what did I look like yesterday? A swamp monster? Worse? Welcome to the compliment autopsy, the dark art of dissecting good words until they die on the examination table. It's not that we don't like compliments, it's that we don't trust them. Our brains, fine-tuned by centuries of survival instincts, treat unexpected kindness like suspicious bait. Uh, they don't mean that. Are they being polite? Was that sarcasm? Let me replay the tone 17 times just to be sure. You can receive a hundred nice compliments in one weird look. Guess which one your mind replays on a loop. Exactly. That's the negativity bias again. Your brain is basically that friend who remembers every awkward thing you've ever said but has no memory of your wins. Here's the ugly truth. For many of us, compliments expose vulnerability. If we accept them, we risk believing we're actually good. And that's terrifying because then we might have to keep up being good. What if we can't live up to it? So we deflect. Oh, this old thing? It was nothing really. I just got lucky. That way, nobody can accuse us of arrogance, or worse, disappointing them later. But every time we reject a compliment, we teach our brain that good feedback is unsafe. We're training it to see kindness as a threat. Here's a simple, slightly uncomfortable rule. When someone says something kind, pause for three full seconds before you respond. Just let it land. That pause gives your brain time to record the moment as real, instead of reflexively swatting it away. Then say two magic words. Thank you. No explanation. No deflection. No discount code for your humility. Just thank you. Those two words are a compliment's aftercare instructions. They tell your brain, this is safe, this is good, we can keep this. Let's talk about the compliment bank. It's one of my favorite techniques. Every genuine compliment you receive is a deposit in your confidence account. If you keep withdrawing it instantly, oh it's not a big deal. You'll always feel emotionally bankrupt. So save them. Literally, write them down. Keep a nice things file on your phone. Screenshots of kind messages, emails, moments you'd normally forget. On bad days, read it like a secret portfolio of proof that good things have been said about you. It's not vanity, it's memory insurance. A few years ago, someone told me, You have a really calming presence. I almost laughed. Me? Calming? My inner monologue is a squirrel with espresso in one hand and a package of cigarettes in the other. But I stopped myself. I said, Thank you. And the weirdest thing happened. I started noticing moments when I was calm. Apparently they were right. My brain just needed permission to notice the evidence. At night, try this. Replay one compliment someone gave you any time in your life, and overthink it positively. What if they really meant it? What if they saw something in me that I can't always see in myself? That's how you turn an old compliment into renewable energy for your confidence. This has been Overthinking the Awesome. I'm David Cosgrove. Stay safe out there, and remember, your mind isn't too much. You're just learning how to play it. That is a wrap on season one of Overthinking the Awesome. But we're just getting started. If these episodes resonated with you, the book goes even deeper. Overthinking the Awesome: How to Turn Anxiety, Spiraling, and Self-Doubt into Clarity and Confidence is available on Amazon and Kindle and Paperback and on Audible. If you've got questions, stories, or topics you want me to overthink with you, reach out. Go to davidcosgrove.com or email me at david at davidcosgrove.com. Find me on Instagram at DellPiombo Music, which is where I post about music, creativity, and the occasional overthought. Season two is coming. Thanks for listening. Stay safe out there. And remember, your mind isn't too much. You're just learning how to play it.