From the space between send and reply, this is Overthinking the Awesome with David Cosgrove. Welcome to season two. If you were here for season one, you've got the tools now. The click, the narrator, the algorithm, the awesome move. This season we put them to work. Because overthinking doesn't announce itself, it shows up in moments. In silences and the gap between what you did and what happens next. And there's no gap quite like the one we're talking about today. Before we get going, want to give a quick thanks to this episode's sponsor, Westwood Provisions, handmade candles out of Simsbury, Connecticut. When I'm recording or writing, the right atmosphere matters. These folks get that. Connect with Westwood Provisions on Instagram and Facebook. Tell them the overthinker sent you. You hit send, and for a second, maybe half a second, you feel fine. Maybe even good. You said the thing, you sent the email, you text it back, done. Then the silence starts. And your brain, your beautiful, overactive, pattern-seeking brain, decides that silence is a message. That the absence of a reply is itself a reply. That every minute without a response is evidence of something. Evidence of what? Your brain isn't sure, but it's going to find out. So it starts running scenarios. What if they're upset? What if it came across wrong? What if they're showing it to someone else right now, shaking their head? What if they're crafting a response and deleting it over and over because they don't know how to tell you how badly you blew it? Sound familiar? Well, welcome to the space between send and reply. Population, every overthinker who ever lived. Why waiting triggers spirals? Here's what's actually happening in that silence. Your brain hates uncertainty. It's wired to predict, to anticipate, to fill in blanks. And when there's no data coming in, no red receipt, no typing bubble, no reply, your brain doesn't just wait. It invents. This isn't a flaw, it's a feature. Your mind is trying to protect you by running simulations. If something bad is coming, it wants to be ready. The problem is your brain defaults to threat. In the absence of information, it assumes danger, not because danger is likely, but because assuming danger kept your ancestors alive. The ones who assumed the rustling bush was just wind? They got eaten. So now, in 2026, your brain treats an unanswered text the same way it treated a rustling bush, as a potential threat. Something to monitor, something to solve. Except there's nothing to solve. There's just waiting. And waiting is the one thing your overthinking brain cannot stand. So let's catch it. Let's find the click the moment that the spiral starts. For most people, it's not the moment you hit send. It's a few minutes later. Maybe you glance at your phone. Maybe you check if the message was delivered. Maybe you reread what you wrote. That's the click, the reread, the check, the let me just see if. That your brain's shifting from I sent a message to I need to monitor this situation. And once you're monitoring, you're spiraling because monitoring means you've decided this requires vigilance, that something might go wrong, that you need to be ready. Notice that moment. Name it. There it is. I'm monitoring now. I've decided this is a threat. You don't have to stop it, just see it. Now let's redirect. Let's change the narrator. Right now, the voice in your head is a mind reader. It's claiming to know what the other person is thinking, what they're feeling, what they're about to do. But here's the truth. You don't know. You literally cannot know. The only information you have is that you sent a message and haven't received a reply yet. That's it. That's all the data. So let's replace mind reading with fact checking. Ask yourself, what do I actually know? Not what do I fear? Not what might be true. What do I know? I know I sent a message, I know I haven't heard back yet. I know the other person has a life, a job, a phone that might be on silent, a hundred reasons that have nothing to do with me. That's fact checking. That's firing the mind reader and hiring the journalist. Someone who only reports what's confirmed. Here's where we turn this around. Your brain wants a job. It wants to process, predict, protect. Fine. Give it a job, but change the assignment. Instead of imagining worst case scenarios, give your brain this task. Assume neutrality. Not best case, not they loved it, they're going to respond with confetti and praise. That's just the spiral in reverse. Neutral. They got the message. They'll respond when they respond. Until then, this is just empty time. Here's the mantra. Until proven otherwise, assume neutrality. Write that down. Say it out loud. Make it your default setting. Because here's what's actually true most of the time. The silence means nothing. People are busy. People forget. People see a message and think I'll respond later. And then later becomes tomorrow. It's not a judgment, it's just life. So give your brain the neutral story. Let it chew on that instead. The space between send and reply isn't a trap, it's just a gap. Empty time, unfilled silence. Your brain wants to fill it with meaning, with story, with evidence of something that hasn't happened yet. But silence is not a message. It's just empty space. This has been Overthinking the Awesome. I'm David Cosgrove. If this episode hit home, the book goes deeper. Overthinking the Awesome: How to Turn Anxiety, Spiraling, and Self Doubt into Clarity and Confidence is available on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback and on Audible. Got a question? A topic you want me to overthink with you? Reach out at David Cosgrove.com. Find me on Instagram at Dell Piombo Music. That's where I post about music, creativity, and the occasional overthought. Stay safe out there and remember, your mind isn't too much, you're just learning how to play it.